Am I doing things the right way or at the very least, am I not doing things the wrong way. I want to ‘fit in’ in so far as I want to be approachable. At the same time, I’m supposed to be in the world not of the world. Will I ever fit in enough to not feel like an outsider? Being an outsider is uncomfortable. I knew I was stepping out of my comfort zone when I came to Haiti the very first time. Moving here was a huge step and yet I somehow thought that eventually I’d feel like a local. Seven years later and I don’t. And I won’t. I can’t. I suspect that the feeling of ‘fitting in’ is also a feeling of comfort and complacency.
I can eat the food, speak the language ( a bit), walk the streets and at the end of the day I still feel like the white guy. I don’t want to feel that way and I don’t want to be treated that way. I want to be the Jesus guy. I don’t want them to see me, I want them to see Him.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I feel completely engaged here, invested in these people, this church and this neighborhood. Some days I just want people to look past all that I’m not, to see all that Jesus is.
Thanks to each of you for your continued prayers. You are a blessing to us.